Diyawadana Nilame

Diyawadana Nilame

Sylvestrians excelled in boxing which is an international sport that hardly produces humour. Being a sport of skill one could term boxing as a rough sport for the strong hearted. Not all Sylvestrians were strong hearted although everybody enjoyed this sport.

There were the intellects who pursued their grades in school rather diligently and entered the University with flying colours. Their creativity while being concentrated on scholarly achievements, was also the origin of the famous Sri Lankan yarns. Yarns full of humour originated mostly from the Sylvestrians at Pera Campus.

Yarns although were categorised under different topics, to avoid this letter becoming too lengthy I intend to dedicate this to a famous Diyawadana Nilame who was the target for yarns and lived in Kandy with his two beautiful daughters.

It all started when the Wattegama Christ church educated lad became the Diyawadana nilame and held that prestigious post for 11 years from early sixties.

Although nowadays Kandy lake and the two ponds opposite Dalada Maligawa are almost extinct with tortoises, during sixties it was infested with fish and tortoises.

Sylvestrian attendance at the temple increased with the appointment of this new Diyawadana Nilame who was always present during the evenings along with his petite, fair skinned High School daughters.

Shit hit the ceiling when some of the Sylvestrians overheard a conversation between the father and the two daughters.

Seeing creeps of tortoises Nilame shouted;

“Look….  padlocks...”

Overnight he became “padlock” and the innocent target for all internationally famous yarns in Kandy.

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Being a prominent statesman he had to entertain foreign guests and the obvious venue for such occasions at that time was Queens Hotel.

On one occasion, according to the high witted Sylvestrians, he sat with two English dignitaries at the prestigious restaurant just across the street. The waiter in complete colonial dress approached the visitors with a traditional bow to take the order for drinks.

“I will have a gin on rocks”

One of the englishmen was the first to voice his choice.

“Ditto”

The next retorted with a smile.

The waiter approached the Nilame who looked perplexed with a few drops of sweat running down his forehead, despite the cool weather and the breeze coming from the lake asked politely;

“Sir, what would you like to have”

“I will have it in a glass”

For the dazed waiter it was a struggle approaching the bar and before he placed the order, was seen gulping down a glass of water to gain his senses.

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During this time Kandy schools did not have table tennis on their itinerary. Girls High school which we Sylvestrians preferred to be ideally called as the Girls Thigh School, introduced table tennis and girls were seen on Peradeniya road in short skirts after practice.

As a Sylvestrian myself living close to High school, this glamorous sight of short skirted Thigh School girls became a daily sight.

At a time when the Nilame was recuperating from the shock of the news that his elder daughter had fallen in love with a Muslim boy, his younger daughter who was the apple of his eye approached him.

“Appachchi… I am interested in Ping Pong”

Nilame almost fainted but managed to lie down on the luxurious sofa and retorted;

“ What the hell is happening to my girls, one is interested in a Muslim and now you are interested in a Chinese”

The girl fainted and dropped almost dead on appachchi's lap.

Being a member of the senate Nilame had to attend meetings in Colombo frequently, which were mostly held in high rise buildings. Unlike nowadays, the lifts were rattling with none automatic colonial doors. Safety features were minimal but adequate for the not so busy attendees.

When Nilame entered the lift after a meeting on the fourth floor the descent was an unusual rattle making even the operator almost piss in his pants. He took this distinguished Nilame to the fourth floor safely but now things seem to be sour. Tragedy struck the last few feet of descent whenl the lift fell with a big thud onto the ground floor.

Though unharmed Nilame in his late sixties was shattered. Back in Kandy his two lovely girls sat besides their Appachchi and asked in unison;

“Appachchi, how was the meeting”

“I was highly taken up but was badly dropped down”

The shock sent both girls rushing into their room looking for something that they need only once in 28 days.

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A fire broke out on the second floor of the new wing at Dalada Maligawa while Nilame was on the third floor with two of his close friends. Kandy fire brigade stationed near the Bogambara Prison during this time rushed to their rescue.

Giving the required preference in rescuing the Nilame, even before steps were taken to extinguish the fire they held a strong net and asked the Nilame to jump.

His instant flow of adrenaline forced him to take a step back while asking his friend to jump. His friend did so and at that last moment the officers withdrew to take alternative steps and his friend jumped to his death.

Seeing this Nilame was furious and shouted at the officers to hold the net. The second friend was shivering and when asked to jump took a few seconds to jump which cost him his life because the officers thought he will not jump and withdrew their net.

Now was the Nilame's turn and he shouted at the top of his voice at the officers;

“I don't trust you idiots…. Keep the net and clear off for me to jump”

Knowing the type of person he is the officers started extinguishing the fire and rescued the Nilame for him to live a few more years until he passed away at the age of 88.

Time to take a break guys and thousands more original yarns mostly by the Sylvestrians at campus on Nilame are waiting to be put down in black and white.