STUPID SRI LANKAN IDIOT.

STUPID SRI LANKAN IDIOT.

Working in the middle East, Thursdays are happy days. Most of the day we spend arguing where today's dinner get-together is going to be. We were a team from all over the world. I was the only Sri Lankan.

Mid East is infested with Sri Lankan Quantity Surveyors. Once a Britisher asked me,

“How come Sri Lankans are the best QS’s in the whole of Middle East.”

I said,

“Sri Lankans are smart thieves and QS means stealing the client and giving the contractor or vice versa.”

An architect from Italy. Contracts Manager from Scotland. Project Manager from Australia. Programmer from Egypt. Document controller from India. Ultimately we end up in a restaurant gulping down alcohol followed with authentic food slinging mud at each other’s country or customs.  

Starters on the table along with the drinks of your own choice, we all helped ourselves and as usual, Europeans sit only after spending a few minutes at the washroom washing their hands. They then start eating even the starters with forks. We Asians too wash our hands but eat the starters with our own fingers.

A Britisher started to mock me by saying,

“Did you wash your hands”

I said, “no” k just to tease him.

“You will be eating more germs than food”

“Unlike you Britishers spending millions on research to produce antibodies inside laboratories, we produce them ourselves within our bodies”

Bangladeshis filled most of the lower ranks in our establishment and Rafiqul acted as our messenger. A nice guy in his early thirties, I often got my supply of “Ghoor” the Bangladeshi version of jaggery, through him from the row of Bangladeshi shops in the city. My visits to Bangladeshi shops end up always in disaster due to communication hazards.

Totally engrossed in a query raised by the contractor, I was going through the clauses of FIDIC and a vast number of pages of the contract document when Rafiqul entered my room with a big tray of sweets. Trays of sweets are a common sight since birthdays are frequent and I raised my head and asked him what the occasion is while helping myself to a few on the tray.

“ Sir, I got married today”

“ In Bahrain?”

“ No Sir, in Bangladesh”

“ But you are here”

“ Over the phone Sir”

He then explained to me that Bangladeshis can get married over the phone and the marriage ceremony is held there in the absence of the groom. The groom gives his consent over the phone and according to him, it becomes a legal marriage.

“ Congratulations. How is your bride? Is she beautiful”

“No Sir, I have not seen her”

God bless this idiot who married a girl he had never seen. Yet I was very inquisitive.

“ Does she live with your parents after marriage or will she stay with her parents until you go there”

“ With my family Sir”

I was sure Rafiqul will be sending back his salary from today onwards.

“How about the daily needs of your bride”

“ No problem Sir, I have two brothers”

What a closely knit family and surely, I did not have brothers of that sort.

During this time communication systems were not that common and video chatting was very new and expensive to the public. At this point, I felt a bit of a jealousy at the easy access to legal marriage even in the absence of the groom whereas, in Sri Lanka, it is impossible.

From that day onwards I was waiting to see Rafiqul coming to say goodbye to go and see his newly wedded wife with presents. I was even contemplating a decent present to be bought at my next visit to the supermarket.

Months passed and Rafiqul was still there attending to the daily chores of the office. One day he appeared at my office with another tray of sweets and I was taken aback, worried that I still could not buy a present for his wife. He is certainly leaving Bahrain to spend his honeymoon in Bangladesh. Hiding my shame, I inquired if he is about to go on holiday.

“ No, Sir, my leave is due only next year.”

While savouring a tasty sweet in my mouth I inquired,

“ So what is the occasion”

“ My wife is blessed with a baby boy and I am so Happy”

I recovered on the hospital bed and all my colleagues representing the whole globe was staring at me and they shouted in unison.

“ You stupid Sri Lankan idiot, you almost choked to death”